I’ve always felt compelled to do everything for them. The laundry, the lunches, the making plans with friends (through the parents).
I’ve never been one to ask for help, so the hardest part has been trying to understand why my kids ask me to tasks they could easily do. I guess it’s always been my love language to be the doer and without realizing it, keep the cycle going.
But once they turn a certain age, you start to wonder if this is the year they will be doing it themselves.
To be more specific, I’m talking about my soon to be 14-year-old daughter.
I’ve had this conversation with another parent recently about when it’s time for them to figure things out on their own. When your role as a parent is still essential but you start to take a backseat and watch, stepping in when needed.
I’m not letting go of my parental duties, of course. Yes, I still do laundry. Yes, I still help pack lunch because anything that gets her out the door faster is worth it.
But then it hits you: there are things my teen is doing on her own already, that you just don’t see, like packing her sports gear every night before bed so it’s ready to go in the morning. Keeping her room relatively clean and organized. Even organizing some spots in the house without us asking.
She told me recently, “I don’t need mommy and daddy anymore,” in a sarcastic tone when talking about high school things.
She’s gradually learning to “adult” but at the end of the day, she’s still a kid who needs guidance and reminders.
Every grade is a new discovery, but I think high school is another galaxy. It just seemed so far off and then, suddenly, it’s here. Whether it’s picking out a dress for homecoming or deciding on the right college, soon it’s my advice that will be needed more than my overbearing presence (or at least that’s the hope).
The overbearing part is easy. It’s the advice part that I need to work on.
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Coffee - then adulting. 
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