Just a mom to a know-it-all teen and an 8-year-old who rules the roost. A wife, a daughter, and a twin sister. Millennial who juggles a full-time job with mental sanity.
If you know me, you probably know that I’m generally a pretty private person. There are many reasons for starting this but here are a few.
I have a new laptop. Now I must use it.
I miss writing. Even if no one reads what I write.
We all have a voice, and many of us don’t use it enough. Some of us use it too much. But I figured that we can all gain from hearing each other’s thoughts. This especially true when it comes to the trials and tribulations of having kids, and really just “adulting” in general.
The truth is I started this blog entry above in April of 2019. It’s now 2025. In other words, that was before a new job, before the world shut down for a pandemic, and before we moved 3 times in 3 years. And before the crippling anxiety about the future of our children’s generation – and basically, everything. Now, the laptop I started this on is the last one I would use due to its turtle-level speed. But, the reasons I started this are the same.
We live in a world where we outsource so much. This is especially true now, thanks to AI. But I want my thoughts to be mine. I want them to be authentic – even if no once cares to read them.
It takes bravery to ink our thoughts on paper. Maybe all we need is a good cup of coffee, first. A sip of vino might also help. So here goes nothing…better late than never.
It’s been a while since I’ve written. The holidays have consumed my brain. Somehow, now I feel like I finally have some breathing room to think outside of Christmas.
In some ways, it felt like a Covid holiday. Everyone was sick (not us, save for my teenager’s cold), but so many people were battling the flu.
Without major obligations and traveling, it felt like we took the liberty to lounge around more. I was introduced (a second time) to Stranger Things. I am not a super-fan; however, I can appreciate the show. Releasing the final season during the holidays was a great idea from a marketing perspective. I was happy to have some quality time with my husband and kids, bonding over a TV show. That experience is rare.
As an adult, you feel rushed to fit it all in – the shopping, the baking, gifts for teachers, cards, etc. The holidays are a welcome break, when time slows down even if it’s only for a day or two.
I’m in total agreement with my 8-year-old: I’m not ready for the holidays to be over, though the kids have been home from school for what seems like forever.
Looking to 2026
As I write this, I feel full of cheese and foods I don’t normally eat. Drinks I don’t normally drink. After the indulgent holiday season, it’s time to start thinking about New Year’s resolutions. In addition to working out more, some of mine are:
Take more pictures.Purposefully. That way, when Christmas rolls around, I’m not scraping the bottom of the barrel for a decent family photo.
Take more risks. I may even start a Podcast.
Stop overthinking things. A constant battle.
Spend more quality time with the kids.
Travel more, even if it’s local.
Be less angry.
Put away laundry in a timely fashion (yeah right!)
Make better pizza.
And last, but not least, try more coffee.
Cheers to 2026!
What are your resolutions, if you’re making any?
You can now follow me on my Instagram page, coffee_thenadulting!
I’d love to know, what’s everyone putting on their Christmas list (besides an f-ing break)?
As a kid, I would never quite understand why my parents and older relatives asked for things they only “needed.” As the holidays approached, I wished for toys and games while they set their sights on items like plates or new winter coats. But here I am at 41, and a new mattress seems like an ideal Christmas gift. It’s funny how perspectives change; a good night’s sleep now tops my list of priorities.
How do you figure out what to give, when to give less, and when to give experiences and not gifts? My kids have basically grown out of toys. The days of action figures and dolls have transitioned into interests that revolve around technology and sports. But my husband loves to shop for “toy-like” things. It’s a balancing act between gifting something useful and indulging in playful gifts that elicit a childlike wonder. BTW, when people post their gifts on social media, it creates some unnecessary FOMO. (So please, avoid that as much as possible.)
As an adult, how do you even know what you want for yourself, without sounding selfish? It’s a complicated sentiment to navigate. Creating a Christmas list can feel indulgent. Perhaps it’s about asking for small things like a book, a sweater, or a bottle of wine.
Also, traditions. How do you keep the ones from both families alive? There’s beauty in blending traditions but it often feels like a delicate negotiation, keeping alive the cherished customs passed down while ensuring new ones find their footing. How do you make new ones special to your family? It could be as simple as a movie night or a baking day of holiday cookies. Those moments become memories, etching our family’s traditions into the fabric of our holiday season.
There are so many things that go into the holiday prep: shopping, decorating, planning meals, and ensuring everyone feels included and celebrated. It can be overwhelming, yet it’s also a time ripe with opportunity to foster connection and joy. The list making may seem trivial, but it’s essential for the kids to know we care about what they want. Plus, I like to save it when possible and look back on it to see how the years have changed. [insert tear drop]
I’m sad that the years of Santa-filled holiday excitement are slowly fading. However, I am also excited for the years when gifts become less about “wants” and more about “needs.”
I haven’t watched one horror movie all month. I guess it’s not too late. But September and October are filled with the hustle of birthday parties, sports, back to school obligations, etc., leaving little breathing room for the nostalgic things we loved from childhood.
The fall was supposed to be a beautiful bridge from a fun summer to a dreaded winter. It always goes by too fast.
My son invited friends over to carve pumpkins during Halloween week. This made the holiday feel real, and I appreciated it. He loves Halloween, especially decorating. I enjoy his excitement…We cherish happy moments together, whether it’s decorating, carving pumpkins, or watching football on Sundays (after volleyball games of course).
If that’s what fall means to us now, that’s what it will have to be, I suppose.
I went to church this past Sunday for the first time in a few months. I hate to use summer as an excuse, but we get out of our normal routines, travel, etc., and unfortunately, that means forgoing Mass. I did chaperone my daughter’s church camp…does that count?
Anyways, I have honestly been eager to get back to Mass. I’m not sure if I’m looking for answers, or just input, or validation. However, I do know I am searching for meaning in all that is going on in our country. You know, I am seeking out a higher power to make it all make sense. So many things seem backward, and people are so angry.
When I’m sitting in church, I always wonder if other people are there for those same reasons. I know I can’t be the only one.
I wonder what the priest is thinking. If he’s caught the latest news. If people are coming to him with questions and seeking answers, solace, comfort, etc. Does he write his homilies with this in mind? It sure seemed that way Sunday – but it could also be coincidental.
I questioned Catholicism for a long time, if it was right and just. But no religion is perfect. Oftentimes people turn to religious or spiritual guidance in times of distress, and I guess I am doing that very thing.
I was thinking back to President Trump’s inauguration in January and the interfaith service he attended afterward, which became controversial. The bishop presiding over that service had asked him to have mercy on the LGBTQ and immigrant populations. She was asking for mercy but was criticized for being too political. Would the bishop have been more tolerable if she disguised her plea with a Bible verse instead of asking outright?
The church takes a stance on many issues that have become political. So why would it be surprising for her to speak up when she has a pulpit to do it? Isn’t that what we ask of our spiritual leaders? Was her request really that terrible when, as a country, we seem to be mixing religion with politics and blurring the lines all the time? It was just a couple of weeks ago when the world watched a televised memorial service for Charlie Kirk that mixed messages about religion, policy, partisanship, and retribution.
I promised myself I would not get political in these blog posts, so I’m going to leave it at that.
As a child, I viewed church as a chore that had to get done to put me in the Lord’s good graces, as much as I hate to admit that. But I’ve always wondered would there be a sudden tragedy or something in my life that would draw me closer to my religion – I guess it’s these confusing, tumultuous times.
What a week it’s been. I’ve been at the pharmacy more than my kids have been in school. Between retrieving prescriptions, buying Covid tests, and various other medicines for allergies and cold symptoms, you could say the local Walgreen’s knows me well.
Unfortunately, my daughter contracted Covid right when she turned 13. Not the best way to ring in her teenage years, but we made the best of it. It will always be a unique memory that we’ll “cherish.”
When she gets sick, she doesn’t bounce back quickly like I used to. I remember being sick maybe once or twice a year during school. I rarely stayed home unless it was something serious like the flu or a stomach bug. However, my daughter seems to get pummeled by sickness far more often.
It’s almost predictable that September will usher in some kind of illness to our home after a relatively mild summer. With the kids returning to school, it’s like welcoming back a wave of germs. Preparing for cold season has become part of our annual routine, navigating allergies, colds, and viruses that often accompany the back-to-school rush.
Speaking of sickness, my daughter said her birthday reminded her of the tumultuous 2020. You know, when we were donning masks and rarely seeing people. We sat on our deck to celebrate her birthday. Her grandparents traveled from Florida to see us. They received the news she had Covid when they were 5 hours away. They were able to talk to her from several feet away outside.
This past week has made me think back to Covid for other reasons. We have been watching the TV show, “The Pitt,” and while it lacks the exaggerated drama of Grey’s Anatomy and some other medical shows, it’s been recognized for its take on real life in the medical field, especially post-Covid.
But I’m also reminded of the pandemic because it was one of the rare and fleeting times we, as a country, all seemed like we were cheering for the same side. We celebrated the push for vaccine development; we lauded doctors, nurses, and all first-responders so much so that people would literally bang pots and pans out of their apartment windows for them, or deliver meals, or drive by and honk and cheer for them. I’m not saying we don’t appreciate them anymore, but there was (or at least it seemed so in our area) an atmosphere of unified love. Now, there’s division on so many health topics – medicine, vaccinations, and who’s to blame for Covid, etc.
I bring this up because last week we also saw the assassination of Charlie Kirk, and it spotlighted how divided our nation has become (not that we didn’t know that already). But right after that was also the anniversary of 9/11 – another reminder of how times of tragedy and crisis can also bring us together.
I pray we don’t have another tragedy but can use past lessons to see how we are stronger and better when we shine a light on the humanity that exists, rather than the hate.
It’s that time of year again that I dread while also welcome. While it’s sad to see summer go, it’s also comforting to get back to routines.
I look back on summer and think of the fun things we did as a family. I also regret some things we didn’t get to do.
Every year right as school lets out, I think about making a summer “bucket list.” Keyword being “think.” There are about 10 weeks of summer vacation. How are we supposed to fill the 1,680 hours without school, sports, and activities?? By the time summer arrives I’m exhausted from the planning.
It’s not that I’m not thankful for summer break (though it’s not so much a break for year-round working parents). It’s just that expectations are high. And it feels like no matter what you try and do, you can never meet them.
So no, I didn’t make a summer bucket list this year – more like a summer “fuck it” list. Here’s how that list went:
F-this! How my 2 kids felt about their last camp. So much for outdoor fun in a heat wave.
F-ing broke: Our bank accounts after camp, pool memberships, and trips.
F-ing really? My response to seeing my kids’ screen time totals in one day. Or when they watch K-Pop Demon Hunters for the 10th time.
F-ing finally! When it feels like fall for one day.
F-ing damn it! When the next day is back to 90 degrees.
F-it! When I should do yard work but do anything else instead.
F-ing come on! Back-to-school shopping costs as much as summer camp.
F-ing win! You realize BOGO sales are going to get you through the back to school shopping and tariffs.
You know what I’ve figured out? Summer’s filled with a bunch of should-haves, could-haves, and would-haves. Let’s be real, we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves when things don’t pan out like we hoped.
I should have been prepared for it. But I didn’t realize how the cleaning and reorganizing of the playroom would hit so hard.
I wanted to move my office there. Unfortunately, the size of my desk made it impossible. But I still took the opportunity to clean up foam gun darts and pick off dried Play-Doh from the carpet. I threw out random toy parts. They belong to an era that I now yearn for. (They also probably belong to a toy that will never be found.)
In between it all, there were feelings of nostalgia. But there were also feelings of sadness, regret, and anger. All related to the fact that screens have replaced so many traditional toys.
My son seems to be the only one to play with his toys when he’s with friends. Otherwise, his new playroom is his room or his sister’s room. Their laughter and enthusiasm about something that happened in their Roblox game is a welcoming sound. I should be happy about this bonding, and I am. But there’s a level of anger at society – and myself – for replacing the childhood I knew.
Will we ever get it back? Will we be happy to curse the jagged blocks left out on the carpet even if it kills our foot?
Will we be satisfied to pick dried clay off the carpet, even if our back pays the price?
Will we be glad to pick up the broken crayons and dried markers that were tools of spontaneous creativity?
I can dream of those days.
I read an article in The Atlantic, which really made me think about why play is being replaced with screens. Over time, it seems that a fear of “strangers” and things we can’t control have driven kids inside, perhaps unintentionally. I can totally see that. It’s unfortunate. I do feel good that society has had some influence. Not all blame is on us parents.
I suppose we all own a part of the blame for getting here. But it means we have to try even harder to get back, and I don’t know if we ever will. Fighting the lure of technology is like standing in front of ocean waves and letting them toss you again and again. It’s tiring and it hurts.
So if your playroom is still getting used, please don’t take it for granted. Because as much as it can get messy, it’s the kind of messy that we should all feel good about.
It’s 10:30 p.m. My son peers out of his room (where he should be asleep) and asks, “Mom, have you ever made a mistake in life?”
I think I’m about to have another existential conversation with a very curious 7-year-old. I mean, this is the same kid who asked me if I liked “being a parent or a kid more” while we shopped for frozen pizzas. That was not something I was prepared to answer. I was just trying to decide on cheese vs. pepperoni, thin crust vs. thick crust. Not sure I was prepared to explain the complexities of aging and paying bills in Aisle 9.
I guess I could have used it as a learning experience. I would’ve tried to explain in some half-ass fashion how choosing a pizza is more complicated. As a parent, you have to consider cost, ingredients, and shelf life, etc. As a kid, you get to decide on cheese or pepperoni – and then reap the rewards of that choice.
When you’re caught off guard, you don’t have time to plan out your response. I’m not one of those moms you see in a PBS kids’ show. And I’m no Danny Tanner from Full House. I can’t do thoughtful responses on the fly. I need more time.
Before I lose my own train of thought – back to the birds.
He points to my blue T-shirt. It shows the popular TV personality Bob Ross painting birds over a mistake in his art. The phrase reads: “Ever make mistakes in life? Let’s make them birds.”
I’ve made plenty of mistakes, that’s for sure. If only we had the choice of painting over them with birds rather than owning up to them all.
I didn’t say this to him, but simply replied, “of course.”
This kid has a knack for asking random questions about life. He would probably make a good philosophy professor one day. For now, it’s bedtime, which I am sure I’ve reminded him about a dozen times.
I’ll think of a good response while I fall asleep, so I can be prepared for the next random question.
Coffee - then adulting. 