Coffee – then adulting.

Or wine. Wine then adulting.

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about

Just a mom to a know-it-all teen and an 8-year-old who rules the roost. A wife, a daughter, and a twin sister. Millennial who juggles a full-time job with mental sanity.

  • A Journey Back to Writing

    A Journey Back to Writing

    If you know me, you probably know that I’m generally a pretty private person. There are many reasons for starting this but here are a few.

    1. I have a new laptop. Now I must use it.
    2. I miss writing. Even if no one reads what I write.
    3. We all have a voice, and many of us don’t use it enough. Some of us use it too much. But I figured that we can all gain from hearing each other’s thoughts. This especially true when it comes to the trials and tribulations of having kids, and really just “adulting” in general.

    The truth is I started this blog entry above in April of 2019. It’s now 2025. In other words, that was before a new job, before the world shut down for a pandemic, and before we moved 3 times in 3 years. And before the crippling anxiety about the future of our children’s generation – and basically, everything. Now, the laptop I started this on is the last one I would use due to its turtle-level speed. But, the reasons I started this are the same.

    We live in a world where we outsource so much. This is especially true now, thanks to AI. But I want my thoughts to be mine. I want them to be authentic – even if no once cares to read them.

    It takes bravery to ink our thoughts on paper. Maybe all we need is a good cup of coffee, first. A sip of vino might also help. So here goes nothing…better late than never.

  • Coffee Thoughts: Overachieving is Overated
  • Coffee Thoughts: Overachieving is Overated

    Coffee Thoughts: Overachieving is Overated

    I recently saw a post on Threads that made me wonder about adulthood and careers. The person who posted said that now that they’re in their 40s, they don’t care for advancement or promotion anymore. They don’t want to lead a team, or “spearhead an initiative” to put it bluntly.

    And I thought – NOW that is one honest and brave comment.

    I wasn’t prepared for such a change of mindset about job growth communicated in a just 10 sentences.

    It seems lazy to say you’re just “coasting.” I’m not sure if “coasting” is the best term. However, if you’re getting by, earning a paycheck, supporting your family, and fulfilling your job duties, isn’t that enough?

    Now, I am totally aware that people start out at different levels and change jobs/careers, so advancement may be something that is natural, or something they are striving for after starting a new position.

    But I also don’t think employers should look down on people who feel fine in their current role, while building upon their current skills.

    There is a lot of energy spent outside of work, on family, daily life, and social activities. The same person on Threads mentioned they manage their “home,” and that should be enough. It’s tough to share your energy when you’re just ONE person balancing TWO full-time jobs, trying to succeed at both yet often feeling behind or not meeting expectations. Each day presents a new set of challenges, from tackling household chores to attending your kids’ events, leaving little room for personal time or relaxation.

    When you turn 40, it seems like your energy fades a little more each day while responsibilities pile up. My mind sometimes feels as slow as my body, struggling to keep up with what’s expected. This constant balancing act can lead to overwhelming tiredness, making me wonder how much I can really give before hitting my limits. Managing these parts of life is a careful act, needing both stamina and resilience, and it’s a journey many people understand as they handle their own challenges with work and personal life.

  • Who else is with me??

    Casting My Vote for a 3-Day Weekend
  • Casting My Vote for a 3-Day Weekend

    Casting My Vote for a 3-Day Weekend

    Who are we kidding? The weekend is a wash. You might get to sleep in one of the days. But, if you’re anything like me, you wake up on a Saturday mornings not at all relaxed, but instead full of dread and anxiety, thinking all the things you need to accomplish within the next 48 hours.

    Grocery shopping

    Haircuts

    Shave your legs

    Wash the floors

    Plant a garden

    Watch your kids’ games

    Preserve your kids eye sight from screen time overload

    Do something educational

    Do something nature-y

    Plan dinner for the 21,000th time

    And the list goes on.

    Did I inadvertently leave “time for myself” off the list? No, it wasn’t accidental, it’s because it doesn’t exist.

    Don’t get me wrong, I still count down to the weekends like a kid in the 90s on the way to Blockbuster and Domino’s Pizza on a Friday night. Back in the day, it was a glorious escape filled with adventure and shenanigans with friends. Now it feels more like a frantic marathon towards, with coffee to get me to the finish line.

    My vote is for kids to go back to school on Mondays. But the weekend for us parents and adults could surely use an extra day.

  • When you say “You’ll Get to It.” But do you actually?

    Why Do I Dread the Adulting Tasks that Take 5 Minutes?
  • Why Do I Dread the Adulting Tasks that Take 5 Minutes?

    Why Do I Dread the Adulting Tasks that Take 5 Minutes?

    I am pretty sure I got the order form for my daughter’s yearbook 3 months ago. When is it due? Tomorrow. Have I filled ordered the yearbook yet? No.

    But I did put it on my nightstand as an in-your-face reminder to complete it. So that counts for something, right?

    If you’re like me, you wait until the very last minute to complete something on a deadline – like paying bills. The bill may sit on your desk for days, weeks, or even months before you take action. A week -and-a-half worth’s of newspapers sit on the coffee table waiting to be read. Even my daughter has had to remind me of making a physical therapy appointment for her.

    So why do we wait so long? Like putting away laundry or cleaning the fish tank, what makes us avoid these simple tasks?

    As kids, procrastination was practically inevitable with every chore we were assigned. Turns out that hasn’t phased much since then. Now I have to be the one modeling behavior that I hope my kids will adopt, like putting away laundry before we run out of baskets to use. And we have at least 3.

    Now, will not doing the laundry cause harm? Probably not. So it makes it easy to understand exactly why we avoid it. When we have so many other things we could choose to do for pleasure instead – like doom scrolling on the phone or watching TV – then we’re probably choosing those instead.

    Even grocery shopping is a task that I cringe to do at times. Thank goodness for delivery services now, making it a bit more doable on days when I would rather do anything BUT that.

    Maybe it’s just the tired brain (and body) saying NO or a brain function that I will never truly understand (as I am not a doctor or psychologist). It’s fascinating how our minds and bodies communicate their needs, often in ways that can be confusing or frustrating.

    Sometimes, when we’re exhausted, our brains signal us to slow down, to take a break, or even to step back from the chaos of everyday life. This disconnect between what we want to do and what our bodies are telling us can lead to a deep sense of introspection, forcing us to confront the limits of our own endurance. Now I understand why it is many adults I know take off a day from work just to cross things off their “to-do lists.” It’s like your body has to catch up with your brain.

    Multi-tasking has always been a requirement of our generation, but it was never a skill I naturally possessed. I feel the need to accomplish one thing before I start another; however, unfortunately, that mindset is not based in reality.

    So as I sit here staring at bills that need to be paid in the next few days, wish me luck that I will pay them by 11:59 p.m. on their due date.

  • Inheriting Skills: The Genes We Missed
  • Inheriting Skills: The Genes We Missed

    Inheriting Skills: The Genes We Missed

    Do you ever wonder why you didn’t get the career genes or the hobby genes from your parents?

    What I mean is, my mom was a teacher. My grandmother was a teacher. Guess it skipped a generation? I lost my shit trying to teach my then-third grader math during the pandemic lockdowns. I barely know how to do anything kids are learning nowadays. Plus, I just can’t relate to kids (my own kids remind me of that all the time). I don’t think teaching is in my future.

    Then there is the green thumb. My parents have a beautiful garden that anyone would envy. I love to buy plants and flowers. But I look at them and just feel overwhelmed knowing the care that goes into growing them. I suppose I can be proud that some hostas I planted are still growing nearly 3 months later.

    I see a pattern: Maybe it’s the “nurturing gene” I didn’t get.

    The cooking gene is another one that passed me and went to my brother.

    Personality traits – now those I did get.

    I know it’s nothing to worry about – every child charts their own path when it comes to careers and interests. But I wonder if they wonder whether they did something wrong that prevented these valuable life skill genes from transferring to me.

    I can’t help but feel ashamed that their specialties don’t come easier. Is it me, or is it a generation thing?

    I did get a love of history and reading and travel from them, which has shaped my perspective on life in profound ways. So that counts, right? The rich experiences they took me and my brother on has been passed along, and I am grateful for that.

    However, as I look out on the weed “garden” that needs constant maintenance and the recipes that need preparing, I feel a sadness of never living up to the expectations I should.

  • Things I Didn’t Know I’d Need as An Adult: A Village

    Things I Didn’t Know I’d Need as An Adult: A Village

    What a week. I was home by myself with both kids this week. My husband was helping his parents with a medical situation in Florida.

    But life doesn’t stop when your own schedule changes. There is still school, field trips, sports practices, grocery shopping, homework, and everything in between.

    Even before you take on extracurricular activities for your kids, you wonder just how much it will impact your normal routine. After a few times, you get the hang of the drop-off, pick-up, carpool routine. Then it starts to become the normal routine. Here’s a good time to Google the Marcello Hernandez “Pick You Up and Drop You Off” joke. It perfectly encapsulates the amusing yet exhausting reality of our daily schedules.

    But I’ve learned over the last several years that you find your village – a community of support – beyond your family; you find it in your kids’ friends’ parents, their teammates’ parents, your neighbors, etc. Whether it’s coordinating rides to practices, sharing in the excitement of a game, or just exchanging supportive messages, these connections have become crucial lifelines. I don’t know how I would get through the mental gymnastics of planning everything without them. Their willingness to step in, whether it’s for a last-minute carpool or an unexpected playdate, has truly been a blessing.

    I am so thankful to know people who are always happy to help out, no questions asked. Their kindness extends beyond mere favor; it builds a network of shared experiences that make the challenges of parenting a bit lighter.

    This week, I was a single parent. And all I have to say is props to all the single parents doing this on the daily. The strength and resilience that single parents show amazes me; they are the true superheroes.

    We need social connection more than ever. Maybe that comes in the form of a village that becomes your circle. It’s a reminder of how we are not alone, even in our busiest moments. We all share the common goal of raising our children to be happy, healthy, and kind. Even if our kids are anxious, quiet, or just different, they are accepted. And together, we can make this journey a little bit easier to navigate.

  • Coffee Thoughts: Contradictions are Everywhere

    It’s Women’s History Month. And it got me thinking about America Ferrera’s character in “Barbie,” who perfectly points out the wild contradictions and expectations that come with being a modern woman.

    As I prepare my grocery list or pack my kids’ lunches, it feels like no matter how hard I try, I can’t meet the expectations of a sugar-free, healthy meal with all five food groups (or whatever number we’re at now).

    Now, if you’re anything like me, you’re inundated with a flood of health info from every corner. One minute you’re feeling great, and the next, you’re questioning every meal like a detective. I catch myself asking:

    Is this cereal too processed?

    Am I turning my kids into sugar fiends?

    Wait, are there microplastics in this instant rice?

    Are my kids drinking enough water?

    I sliced some apples for lunch, but does my eco-friendly container contain microplastics? Can I pull a Captain Planet with my lunch prep or just fuel climate change?

    Okay, I might be overthinking this… or maybe I’m not. I mean, were we all doomed from the start? Can we do anything without feeling guilty about it later?

    Seriously, just go watch America’s speech. She sums it up better than I ever can: