Coffee – then adulting.

It’s that time of year again: LIST MAKING.

From Christmas lists to New Year’s goals.

I’d love to know, what’s everyone putting on their Christmas list (besides an f-ing break)?

As a kid, I would never quite understand why my parents and older relatives asked for things they only “needed.” As the holidays approached, I wished for toys and games while they set their sights on items like plates or new winter coats. But here I am at 41, and a new mattress seems like an ideal Christmas gift. It’s funny how perspectives change; a good night’s sleep now tops my list of priorities.

How do you figure out what to give, when to give less, and when to give experiences and not gifts? My kids have basically grown out of toys. The days of action figures and dolls have transitioned into interests that revolve around technology and sports. But my husband loves to shop for “toy-like” things. It’s a balancing act between gifting something useful and indulging in playful gifts that elicit a childlike wonder. BTW, when people post their gifts on social media, it creates some unnecessary FOMO. (So please, avoid that as much as possible.)

As an adult, how do you even know what you want for yourself, without sounding selfish? It’s a complicated sentiment to navigate. Creating a Christmas list can feel indulgent. Perhaps it’s about asking for small things like a book, a sweater, or a bottle of wine.

Also, traditions. How do you keep the ones from both families alive? There’s beauty in blending traditions but it often feels like a delicate negotiation, keeping alive the cherished customs passed down while ensuring new ones find their footing. How do you make new ones special to your family? It could be as simple as a movie night or a baking day of holiday cookies. Those moments become memories, etching our family’s traditions into the fabric of our holiday season.

There are so many things that go into the holiday prep: shopping, decorating, planning meals, and ensuring everyone feels included and celebrated. It can be overwhelming, yet it’s also a time ripe with opportunity to foster connection and joy. The list making may seem trivial, but it’s essential for the kids to know we care about what they want. Plus, I like to save it when possible and look back on it to see how the years have changed. [insert tear drop]

I’m sad that the years of Santa-filled holiday excitement are slowly fading. However, I am also excited for the years when gifts become less about “wants” and more about “needs.”